John Lowe, P.C.

Double entendres?

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t  you say? 

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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
              Now that’s taking things a bit far! 

  Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over 
              What a guy!    

Miners Refuse to Work after Death 

            No ‘good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s! 

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant 

            See if that works any better than a fair trial! 

 War Dims Hope for Peace 
           I can see where it might have that effect!  
 
 If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

           Ya think?!  

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
           Who would have thought! 

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

               They may be on to something!  

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges 

            You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?  

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge 
            He probably IS the battery charge!  

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group 

             Weren’t they fat enough?!  

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 

             That’s what he gets for eating those beans!  
  
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
          Do they taste like chicken? 
 
 Local  High School Dropouts Cut in Half
          Chainsaw Massacre all over again!  

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
          Boy, are they tall!   
  
And the winner is….  

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
   
            Did I read that right?