You may think that I am complaining, but I’m  not. I’m laying the ground  work for suggesting that Wal-Mart should have been the one that  bailed out Wall Street, GM, the Housing fiasco,  etc.  Then, let them  run the  government.  Obviously someone there knows what they’re doing.

01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, I don’t know, but he left this behind. What did he leave behind?________________.
02. When the Beatles first came to the  U.S. In early 1964, we all watched them on The _______________ Show.
03 ‘Get your kicks, __________________.’
04. ‘The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to ___________________.’
05. ‘In the jungle, the mighty jungle, ________________.’
06. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we ‘danced’ under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the ‘_____________.’
07. ‘N_E_S_T_L_E_S’, Nestle’s makes the very best . . . . _______________.’
08. Satchmo was  America  ‘s ‘Ambassador of Goodwill..’ Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _________________.
09. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? _______________.
10. Red Skelton’s hobo character was named __________________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, ‘Good Night, and ‘________ ________. ‘
11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their______________.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? ____________ & _______________.
13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, ‘the day the music died. ‘This was a tribute to ___________________.
14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called ___________________.
 
15. One of the big fads of the late 50′s and 60′s was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the __ ______________. 
ANSWERS :
01. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet.
02. The Ed Sullivan Show
03. On Route 66
04. To protect the innocent.
05. The Lion Sleeps Tonight
06. The limbo
07. Chocolate
08. Louis Armstrong
09.. The Timex watch
10. Freddy, The Freeloader and ‘Good Night and God Bless.’&n bsp;
11. Draft cards (Bras were also burned. Not flags, as some have guessed)
12. Beetle or Bug
13 Buddy Holly
14. Sputnik
15. Hoola-hoop

(A)   The number of physicians in the U.S. is
700,000.

(B)   Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(C)   Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of   Health and   Human Services.

Now think about this:

Guns

(A)   The number of gun owners in the U.S.   is
80,000,000.  (Yes, that’s 80 million)

(B)   The number of accidental gun deaths   per year, all age groups, is
1,500.

(C)   The number of accidental deaths   per gun owner is .000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, ‘Guns don’t kill people, doctors do.’

FACT:   NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,   BUT ALMOST
EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please   alert your friends to   this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely
out of hand!

Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the
statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention!

The second man married a woman from South Carolina. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from New York. He ordered her to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

William “Bill” Crawford certainly was an unimpressive figure,
one you could easily overlook during a hectic day at the
U.S. Air Force Academy. Mr. Crawford, as most of us
referred to him back in the late 1970s, was our squadron
janitor.
While we cadets busied ourselves preparing for academic
exams, athletic events, Saturday morning parades and room inspections, or
never-ending leadership classes, Bill quietly moved about the squadron mopping
and buffing floors, emptying trash cans, cleaning toilets, or just tidying up the
mess 100 college-age kids can leave in a dormitory. Sadly, and for many years,
few of us gave him much notice, rendering little more than a passing nod or
throwing a curt, “G’morning!” in his direction as we hurried off to our daily duties.
Why? Perhaps it was because of the way he did his job-he always kept the
squadron area spotlessly clean, even the toilets and showers gleamed. Frankly,
he did his job so well, none of us had to notice or get involved. After all, cleaning
toilets was his job, not ours. Maybe it was is physical appearance that made him
disappear into the background. Bill didn’t move very quickly and, in fact, you
could say he even shuffled a bit, as if he suffered from some sort of injury. His
gray hair and wrinkled face made him appear ancient to a group of young cadets.
And his crooked smile, well, it looked a little funny. Face it, Bill was an old man
working in a young person’s world. What did he have to offer us on a personal
level?
Finally, maybe it was Mr. Crawford’s personality that rendered him almost
invisible to the young people around him. Bill was shy, almost painfully so. He
seldom spoke to a cadet unless they addressed him first, and that didn’t happen
very often. Our janitor always buried himself in his work, moving about with
stooped shoulders, a quiet gait, and an averted gaze. If he noticed the hustle
and bustle of cadet life around him, it was hard to tell. So, for whatever reason,
Bill blended into the woodwork and became just another fixture around the
squadron. The Academy, one of our nation’s premier leadership laboratories,
kept us busy from dawn till dusk. And Mr. Crawford…well, he was just a janitor.
That changed one fall Saturday afternoon in 1976. I was reading a book about
World War II and the tough Allied ground campaign in Italy, when I stumbled
across an incredible story. On September 13, 1943, a Private William Crawford
from Colorado, assigned to the 36th Infantry Division, had been involved in some
bloody fighting on Hill 424 near Altavilla, Italy. The words on the page leapt out at
me: “in the face of intense and overwhelming hostile fire … with no regard for
personal safety … on his own initiative, Private Crawford single-handedly
attacked fortified enemy positions.” It continued, “for conspicuous gallantry and
intrepidity at risk of life above and beyond the call of duty, the President of the
United States …”
“Holy cow,” I said to my roommate, “you’re not going to believe this, but I think
our janitor is a Medal of Honor winner.” We all knew Mr. Crawford was a WWII
Army vet, but that didn’t keep my friend from looking at me as if I was some sort
of alien being. Nonetheless, we couldn’t wait to ask Bill about the story on
Monday. We met Mr. Crawford bright and early Monday and showed him the
page in question from the book, anticipation and doubt in our faces. He starred
at it for a few silent moments and then quietly uttered something like, “Yep, that’s
me.”
Mouths agape, my roommate and I looked at one another,
then at the book, and quickly back at our janitor. Almost at
once we both stuttered, “Why didn’t you ever tell us about it?”
He slowly replied after some thought, “That was one day in
my life and it happened a long time ago.”
I guess we were all at a loss for words after that. We had to
hurry off to class and Bill, well, he had chores to attend to.
However, after that brief exchange, things were never again
the same around our squadron. Word spread like wildfire
among the cadets that we had a hero in our midst-Mr. Crawford, our janitor, had
won the Medal! Cadets who had once passed by Bill with hardly a glance, now
greeted him with a smile and a respectful, “Good morning, Mr. Crawford.”
Those who had before left a mess for the “janitor” to clean up started taking it
upon themselves to put things in order. Most cadets routinely stopped to talk to
Bill throughout the day and we even began inviting him to our formal squadron
functions. He’d show up dressed in a conservative dark suit and quietly talk to
those who approached him, the only sign of his heroics being a simple blue, starspangled
lapel pin.
Almost overnight, Bill went from being a simple fixture in our squadron to one of
our teammates. Mr. Crawford changed too, but you had to look closely to notice
the difference. After that fall day in 1976, he seemed to move with more
purpose, his shoulders didn’t seem to be as stooped, he met our greetings with a
direct gaze and a stronger “good morning” in return, and he flashed his crooked
smile more often. The squadron gleamed as always, but everyone now seemed
to notice it more. Bill even got to know most of us by our first names, something
that didn’t happen often at the Academy. While no one ever formally
acknowledged the change, I think we became Bill’s cadets and his squadron.
As often happens in life, events sweep us away from those in
our past. The last time I saw Bill was on graduation day in
June 1977. As I walked out of the squadron for the last time,
he shook my hand and simply said, “Good luck, young man.”
With that, I embarked on a career that has been truly lucky
and blessed. Mr. Crawford continued to work at the
Academy and eventually retired in his native Colorado where
he resides today, one of four Medal of Honor winners living in
a small town.
A wise person once said, “It’s not life that’s important, but
those you meet along the way that make the difference.” Bill was one who made
a difference for me. While I haven’t seen Mr. Crawford in over twenty years,
he’d probably be surprised to know I think of him often. Bill Crawford, our janitor,
taught me many valuable, unforgettable leadership lessons. Here are ten I’d like
to share with you.
1. Be Cautious of Labels. Labels you place on people may define your
relationship to them and bound their potential. Sadly, and for a long time, we
labeled Bill as just a janitor, but he was so much more. Therefore, be cautious of
a leader who callously says, “Hey, he’s just an Airman.” Likewise, don’t tolerate
the O-1, who says, “I can’t do that, I’m just a lieutenant.”
2. Everyone Deserves Respect. Because we hung the “janitor” label on Mr.
Crawford, we often wrongly treated him with less respect than others around us.
He deserved much more, and not just because he was a Medal of Honor winner.
Bill deserved respect because he was a janitor, walked among us, and was a
part of our team.
3. Courtesy Makes a Difference. Be courteous to all around you, regardless of
rank or position. Military customs, as well as common courtesies, help bond a
team. When our daily words to Mr. Crawford turned from perfunctory “hellos” to
heartfelt greetings, his demeanor and personality outwardly changed. It made a
difference for all of us.
4. Take Time to Know Your People. Life in the military is hectic, but that’s no
excuse for not knowing the people you work for and with. For years a hero
walked among us at the Academy and we never knew it. Who are the heroes
that walk in your midst?
5. Anyone Can Be a Hero. Mr. Crawford certainly didn’t fit anyone’s standard
definition of a hero. Moreover, he was just a private on the day he won his
Medal. Don’t sell your people short, for any one of them may be the hero who
rises to the occasion when duty calls. On the other hand, it’s easy to turn to your
proven performers when the chips are down, but don’t ignore the rest of the
team. Today’s rookie could and should be tomorrow’s superstar.
6. Leaders Should Be Humble. Most modern day heroes and some leaders are
anything but humble, especially if you calibrate your “hero meter” on today’s
athletic fields. End zone celebrations and self-aggrandizement are what we’ve
come to expect from sports greats. Not Mr. Crawford-he was too busy working to
celebrate his past heroics. Leaders would be well-served to do the same.
7. Life Won’t Always Hand You What You Think You Deserve. We in the military
work hard and, dang it, we deserve recognition, right? However, sometimes you
just have to persevere, even when accolades don’t come your way. Perhaps you
weren’t nominated for junior officer or airman of the quarter as you thought you
should – don’t let that stop you.
8. Don’t pursue glory; pursue excellence. Private Bill Crawford didn’t pursue
glory; he did his duty and then swept floors for a living. No job is beneath a
Leader. If Bill Crawford, a Medal of Honor winner, could clean latrines and smile,
is there a job beneath your dignity? Think about it.
9. Pursue Excellence. No matter what task life hands you, do it well. Dr. Martin
Luther King said, “If life makes you a street sweeper, be the best street sweeper
you can be.” Mr. Crawford modeled that philosophy and helped make our
dormitory area a home.
10. Life is a Leadership Laboratory. All too often we look to some school or PME
class to teach us about leadership when, in fact, life is a leadership laboratory.
Those you meet everyday will teach you enduring lessons if you just take time to
stop, look and listen. I spent four years at the Air Force Academy, took dozens
of classes, read hundreds of books, and met thousands of great people. I
gleaned leadership skills from all of them, but one of the people I remember most
is Mr. Bill Crawford and the lessons he unknowingly taught. Don’t miss your
opportunity to learn.
Bill Crawford was a janitor. However, he was also a teacher, friend, role model
and one great American hero. Thanks, Mr. Crawford, for some valuable
leadership lessons.
Dale Pyeatt, Executive Director of the National Guard Association of Texas,
comments: And now, for the “rest of the story”: Pvt William John Crawford was
a platoon scout for 3rd Platoon of Company L 1 42nd Regiment 36th Division
(Texas National Guard) and won the Medal Of Honor for his actions on Hill 424,
just 4 days after the invasion at Salerno.
On Hill 424, Pvt Crawford took out 3 enemy machine guns before darkness fell,
halting the platoon’s advance. Pvt Crawford could not be found and was
assumed dead. The request for his MOH was quickly approved. Major General
Terry Allen presented the posthumous MOH to Bill Crawford’s father, George, on
11 May 1944 in Camp (now Fort) Carson, near Pueblo. Nearly two months after
that, it was learned that Pvt Crawford was alive in a POW camp in Germany.
During his captivity, a German guard clubbed him with his rifle. Bill overpowered
him, took the rifle away, and beat the guard unconscious. A German doctor’s
testimony saved him from severe punishment, perhaps death. To stay ahead of
the advancing Russian army, the prisoners were marched 500 miles in 52 days
in the middle of the German winter, subsisting on one potato a day. An allied
tank column liberated the camp in the spring of 1945, and Pvt Crawford took his
first hot shower in 18 months on VE Day. Pvt Crawford stayed in the army before
retiring as a MSG and becoming a janitor. In 1984, President Ronald Reagan
officially presented the MOH to Bill Crawford.
William Crawford passed away in 2000. He is the only U.S. Army veteran and
sole Medal of Honor winner to be buried in the cemetery of the U.S. Air Force
Academy.
A profile of William Crawford is available at
http://www.homeofheroes.com/profiles/profiles_crawford.html, and his Medal of
Honor citation can be found at www.army.mil/cmh-pg/mohiia1.htm.

On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history — that of the six brave soldiers raising the American Flag at the top of a rocky hill on the island of Iwo Jima , Japan , during WW II. 

Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed  towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, ‘Where are you guys from?’

I told him that we were from Wisconsin …’Hey, I’m a cheese head, too! Come gather around, Cheese heads, and I will tell you a story.’

(James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, DC, to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good night to his dad, who had passed away. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up.. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington , DC , but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night.)

When all had gathered around, he reverently began to speak. (Here are his words that night.)

‘My name is James Bradley and I’m from Antigo, Wisconsin … My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called ‘Flags of Our Fathers’ which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me.

‘Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game. A game called ‘War.’ But it didn’t turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don’t say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old – and it was so hard that the ones who did make it home never even would talk to their families about it.

(He pointed to the statue) ‘You see this next guy? That’s Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire . If you took Rene’s helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph…a photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. It was just boys who won the battle of Iwo Jima … Boys. Not old men.

‘The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the ‘old man’ because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn’t say, ‘Let’s go kill some Japanese’ or ‘Let’s die for our country.’ He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, ‘You do what I say, and I’ll get you home to your mothers.’ 

‘The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona…Ira Hayes was one who walked off Iwo Jima…He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, ‘You’re a hero’. He told reporters, ‘How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?’  

So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes carried the pain home with him and eventually died dead drunk, face down at the age of 32 (ten years after this picture was taken). 

‘The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky . A fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, ‘Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn’t get down. Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night.’ Yes, he was a fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother’s farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. Those neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.

‘The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley, from Antigo, Wisconsin , where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite’s producers or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say ‘No, I’m sorry, sir, my dad’s not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don’t know when he is coming back.’ My dad never fished or even went to Canada . Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell ‘s soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn’t want to talk to the press. 

‘You see, like Ira Hayes, my dad didn’t see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, ’cause they are in a photo and on a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died. And when boys died in Iwo Jima , they writhed and screamed, without any medication or help with the pain.  

‘When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, ‘I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.’

‘So that’s the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima , and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time.’ 

Suddenly, the monument wasn’t just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero for the reasons most people would believe, but a hero nonetheless.

We need to remember that God created this vast and glorious world for us to live in, freely, but also at great sacrifice. 
Let us never forget from the Revolutionary War to the current War on Terrorism and all the wars in-between that sacrifice was made for our freedom.

Remember to pray praises for this great country of ours and also pray for those still in murderous unrest around the world. 
STOP and thank God for being alive and being free at someone else’s sacrifice.

God Bless You and God Bless America …

REMINDER: Everyday that you can wake up free, it’s going to be a great day.

One thing I learned while on tour with my 8th grade students in DC that is not mentioned here is…that if you look at the statue very closely and count the number of ‘hands’ raising the flag, there are 13. When the man who made the statue was asked why there were 13, he simply said the 13th hand was the hand of God.
 
Great story – worth your time – worth every American’s time.

1. What do you put in a toaster?
 

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast’ give up now and do something else..
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2.Say ‘silk’ five times. Now spell ‘silk.’ What do cows drink?
 

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks,
what is a green house made from?
 

 
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.If you said ‘green bricks,’
why are you still reading these???
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4.
 

4.It’s twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany
(If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into
West Germany and East Germany ).Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail.
The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing,
decides on a crash landing procedure.
Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so
and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of ‘no man’s land’
between East Germany and West Germany …
Where would you bury the survivors?
East Germany, West Germany , Or no man’s land’? 

Answer: You don’t bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you’re a dunce and you must stop.
If you said, ‘You don’t bury survivors’, proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator- You are driving a bus from London to MilfordHaven in Wales .
In London ,17people get on the bus.
In Reading ,6people get off the bus and9people get on.
In  Swindon ,2people get off and4get on.
In Cardiff ,11people get off and16people get on.
In Swansea ,3people get off and5people get on.
In Carmathen,6people get off and3get on.
You then arrive at MilfordHaven

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don’t you remember your own age?
It was YOU driving the bus!!
 

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

 He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship”…

 As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the
 possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

 Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit.
 Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet
 suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned
 Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had
 a good cigar?”

 ”Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman.

 With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left
 sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a
 lighter.

 He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. “Faith and
 begorrah,” said the castaway, Ahh “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten
 how great a smoke can be!”

 ”And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Ashmill’s Irish
 Whiskey?” asked the blonde.

 Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”

 Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a
 pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.He opened the flask
 and took a long drink. “Tis nectar of the gods!” shouted the Irishman.”
 ’Tis truly fantastic!!!”

 At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front
 of her wet suit, right down the middle.

 She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since
 you played around?”

 With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed…

 ”Holy cow! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”

ENJOY LIFE…YOU ONLY LIVE ONCEI love this Doctor! 
Q: Doctor,  I’ve heard that  cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true? 
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it…don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap. 

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? 
A: You must grasp logistical efficiency.  What does cow eat?   Hay and corn.  And what are these?   Vegetables.  So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.  Need grain?  Eat chicken.  Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable)  And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?  
A:  No, not at all.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? 
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What  are some of  the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? 
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy is: No pain…good!
Q:  Aren’t fried foods bad for you?  
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food are fried these day in vegetable oil.  In fact, they permeated by it.  How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?  

Q:  Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? 
A: Definitely not!  When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. 

Q:  Is chocolate bad for me?  
A:  Are you crazy?!?  HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food around!

Q:  Is swimming good for your figure?  
A:  If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q:  Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?  
A:  Hey!  ‘Round’ a shape! 

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And  remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up,  totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a  ride!!”     AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
      and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
      and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
      and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
      and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of  sausages and fats 
      and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.